Day 3

Okay, so I woke up this morning, drove Tori to school, went to the gym, cleaned myself up and went to Amanda's school for a class picnic. I was really frazzled and irritated with myself. I started praying and felt this war within me. Part of me felt like a failure, like I wasn't worthy to fast and pray. The other part fought and kept reminding me that I was more than a conqueror. It was a soulish battle as well as physical. I had to serve 30 hungry 5th graders fresh hamburgers and hotdogs, knowing I couldn't even lick one. (gross, I know) Jesus was in a wilderness when He fasted, I'm stuck in a wilderness of fresh food everywhere I go.
But I'm going to wrestle through this until God gets my full attention and I get His.
I'm not going to go into my driving schedule but I probably spent 3 hours of my life driving all over Winston/Pfafftown. During that last shuttle I started crying, I was thinking about the little girl who disappeared in Europe and the mother who just hung herself & her 3 children.

WHEN God???? When will you move and show us on this earth the defeat that has already occurred in the heavens? All I could do was weep and pray for the lost, kidnapped children of God. I want to see them come home.
When you don't know how to pray, the Holy Spirit prays with groanings and tears. I'm still weeping.

Break through NOW O God!

****ADDENDUM after church****

So this spirit of travail continues. During preservice prayer, It was so easy for me to kick in and hear God. It was powerful and amazing. Kim travailed and there were a few confirmations of a breaker anointing. Wow, did I write that up there?
God just spoke through me during prayer school and it was really easy teaching about travailing. When the kids started praying a spirit of travail took over some of them. 3 in particular that blew me away. I'm finally seeing a dream come true: african-american kids stepping into God and leading from the front. Hallelujah, what I've been in travail over for years. Ironic that I'm teaching about being pregnant and birthing in the spirit and I got to watch the birth of numerous prayers right there. Yahweh is awesome! Praise Jesus!

I hope youth service was as good as God promised it would be.